PROFESSIONAL CONFIDENCE: IN TIME AND WITH PRACTICE.
At Philosopher Kings we empower Next-Gen professionals to think, speak, and act with knowledge, wisdom, and virtue. Here are a few observations about professional confidence: What it looks like, why it takes time, and how to develop it.
We know that if you apply these practices, you will appear confident even while still developing as a professional. At the same times, you can rest in the fact that every professional goes through an initial 3-5 years of feeling imposter syndrome and wondering if they will ever be as proficient as their higher-ups. Ok here goes, Philosopher Kings:
WHAT DOES CONFIDENCE LOOK LIKE?
Professional confidence looks like speed and sureness. You are efficient in diagnosing a problem and offering the right solution based on your training and experience. It also looks like being okay with being wrong, because many other times you are right.
It looks like the bravery to speak exactly your opinion in less words not more. And it means operating with your colleagues as peers not authority figure. It looks like looking people in the eye, a firm handshake, showing up a bit early and leaving a bit late because you assume you are an essential team member. It looks like walking with a hop in your step as if you are on a mission… because you are. And it looks like stepping up to the job on good days and bad days, pros do it in the rain.
Notice the clear progression here of THINK. SPEAK. ACT. You have learned to believe you are fully capable of coming up with correct analysis which required your expertise, you are as qualified as anyone to offer the solution or prescription, and you are wide open in accepting the few times when you are wrong. You are playing to win, not to “not lose.” Only then when your THINKING is correct, can you speak and act with professional confidence. It is an inside-out phenomenon, much like virtue and practice.
Obviously this is not something that happens overnight.
BEING A CONFIDENT YOUNG PRO TAKES TIME.
No matter what industry, discipline, or workplace environment you are in, professional competency and the confidence that stems from your ability takes time. That’s ok. You’re normal. Here are a couple of ways to reframe the time it takes to be really good at your job.
The higher and harder you are climbing the longer it takes to be confident. This is because you are doing something difficult that not everyone is able to do. To develop the skills of a cardiovascular surgeon, a NICU nurse practitioner, or a compliance attorney (just random examples) is a journey… and an arduous one. It is not like learning to be a checker at a grocery store. It really takes time and commitment to excel at a great profession.
The obstacle is the way. The way you grow as a young professional is to head straight into the difficulty and let it shape you. Here’s the beautiful thing that will happen in your going: you will grow into an amazing person not inspire of, but because of, taking the hard path. When I started out in my PhD program I had to keep track of four ancient languages a semester and I felt wrong all. the. time. (I actually was wrong, most of the time. At first…). It’s part of the pursuit to feel like an imposter as you are learning the skills, interpersonal skills, and emotional and relational intelligences required to be a great specialized professional and person.
Imposter syndrome is not a bad thing, it is an essential thing. What do I mean? I mean that imposter syndrome, is simply the feeling that comes with the gap between where you are now and who you are becoming. Of course there is a gap. And of course you have to pretend you feel confident before you really are confident. And so imposter syndrome is simply part of the journey. One day you wake up and you’re not faking anything. You really have mastered some great skills. In the meantime, do the work, stay humble, and enjoy being on a learner’s path young Skywalker.
Socrates once said:
I believe that we cannot live better than in seeking to become better,
not more agreeably than having a clear conscience.
That’s how you overcome imposter syndrome. Remember your journey so far and own that you are seeking to become a better version of yourself. Have a clear conscience because of true effort in the fact of real struggle. You are going to be so great, and the hard days are the greatest proof of that fact, Philosopher King.
HOW TO DEVELOP CONFIDENCE.
There are some great ways to develop confidence, or even fake it until you feel it. Ha. Seriously though, some of these you can fake as you are are growing. Here are some ways to appear confident, and honestly, to trick your mind into THINKING yourself into the part of a confident professional. Your words and actions will follow.
Walk 25% faster than your peers. Seriously, put some mission and purpose into your step intentionally. If you need help with this, each morning in the parking lot or on public transport, meditate for a couple minutes on your journey so far: Do you remember when you realized your passion for becoming a _________? Do you remember the most difficult things in school and as a person that you had to overcome to get this far? Yeah. You have put the work in, stepped up to challenges, and overcome obstacles that once felt impossible… and why? Because you are on a mission. And so walk like it.
Look all colleagues in the eyes. This is an essential professional skill and it is one which the older generations of professionals believe the up and comers lack. The reality is, if you are under forty your grew up in a completely different relationship with screens, texting, and human contact. No problem. Anyone can learn to look someone in the eye. Practice on strangers. Each day, make yourself look five people in the eye from your barista, to someone you pass in a grocery store, to a patient in your hospital or client in your office. If you are worried you will look creepy, add a smile. It is a life skill and you can learn it.
Shake hands like you mean it. I struggled with this one. I’m not a big person and I don’t really like extra contact with people who are not in my inner circle. I am not a hugger. Here’s how I got over it. I try to squeeze every hand I shake until the point I feel I am being a little too forceful. I’m not, like I said I’m not that strong. But the effect is that my handshake is firm and commands respect. You can do this if I can do this. When you enter a meeting or leave an appointment, use a strong hand shake and look the person in the eyes. Your eyes should say: I respect you, I am for you, I am your equal. All three things.
Do not be afraid to speak up. Even if you are asking for help or giving your opinion that you are not quite sure on this one, you have every right to speak strong and confidently like an equal. You do not have to be an extrovert, eloquent, or a charismatic person to contribute. To the contrary, it is often better to say way less after a thoughtful pause than to blather on forever. Simply say, “In my opinion,” or “here’s what I think.” Give your ideas concisely and with confidence (even if it is feigned). And here’s the ninja mindset: It is perfectly fine if someone points out you are wrong or something you did not think of… because you are a wide open, learning professional. If a colleague proffers a different view, no problem. Strongly and concisly say, “thanks I didn’t thing about that and I really appreciate your perspective.” Don’t overdo it. Just be confident, like you are a learner who is intent on growing… because you are.
Aristotle explains that:
Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, being nothing.
You my friend, are a young professional which, by definition, means you are trying to do something honorable, noble, and great. It’s okay to be wrong, to be criticized for trying, or to feel wounded for your efforts from time to time. It means you are in the arena, and you’re a contender.
It is an honor to grow together,
Mark
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